Playa Del Carmen, Mexico

Mexico's been on my top 10 list for about a decade, so I was extremely excited at booking this week away, last minute (though not on lastminute.com, which was a few hundred quid more per holiday than Teletext). However, I'd always imagined a back-packing exploration of the country ...culminating in a trip down the coast from Cancun via Mayan ruins, through Belize, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama and finishing up in Colombia. One week at an all-inclusive resort is pretty much the opposite of what I'd envisaged.

It was still an adventure, though. My first experience of the Caribbean Sea! And as it's the reverse of what I'm used to, the all-inclusive aspect was slightly adventurous if only because it was my first time.

Highlights:

• Being permanently warm enough at night in sea breeze, without a jumper. This is a first for me, and very relaxing.
• The beach: Incredible! White, soft sand; crystal clear, warm, turquoise sea; hot sun; palm trees; beach bar selling frozen margaritas.
• Cocktails on tap for 'free'
• Miraculously never feeling hungover, and getting up early each day.
• Mexican food, of course.

Lowlights:

• Feeling ripped off for anything that wasn't all-inclusive
• Ridiculous booking system for hotel meals
• Suspect the drinks were severely watered down (hence lack of hangovers). They didn't taste boozy. I'd get the barmen to top up cocktails straight from the bottle, they'd put loads in and the drinks would still not taste strong.
• Not enough 'real' Mexico, which isn't surprising.

Food-wise, I enjoyed having guacamole and salsa with every breakfast, every lunch and most dinners. The breakfast buffets were excellent, and I usually had refried beans, quesadillas (chorizo or chicken), eggs, bacon, tropical fruit (including unbelievably wonderful mango), sausage, stewed pork and more, along with the guac and salsa. Every morning I woke up not being hungry, but still managed to polish off a whole plate of buffet.

Example of breakfast

Note best mango possible at the back

I had ceviche every lunchtime, usually unidentified white fish at the hotel. The best one I had was on the beach in Playa Del Carmen, at Tarraya restaurant. It was octopus so not raw, but really tasty. The pre-ceviche homemade nachos at Tarraya came with a great scotch bonnet and lime dressing which could blow your eyeballs out.

Nachos with scotch bonnet salsa at Tarraya

Octopus ceviche at Tarraya

The 'à la carte' hotel restaurants (as oppose to buffets) were generally canteen style environments, with no open windows or outside space and lots of air con. The food was good, but not very interesting. The insane booking system meant we only ate at them a couple of times. The dinner buffets were good but quite samey, especially after similar breakfast and lunch buffets. 

One night, we took a taxi to '5th Avenue' (i.e. the strip) to eat dinner with another couple. The street in question was crazily touristy and the fajitas were more expensive than in London. They charged us $6 each for a shot of basic tequila, and that was after some serious haggling! The food was good, but I was itching to go off piste and find a normal Mexican café. On the bus back to the airport, we passed tonnes of such places (plastic tables and chairs, hand-painted signs and menus, cheap) and I had a pang of regret that I hadn't pushed my companion harder to go to these types of places at least on a couple of evenings.

On our last evening we had tried to go back to Tarraya for grilled lobster, but it was closed by the time we got there, so we had an argument instead.

I had hoped to go on a trip to a Mayan pyramid in the jungle, but after an extortionately expensive and disappointing boat trip to Isla Mujeres we were put off any other pricey tourist trips. We didn't have enough time there to get to grips with public transport options for going it alone. 

One thing that I got fed up about to the point of responding angrily was the sales technique of every type of vendor (streets, shops, bars, beach), who ALL asked us our names, nationality and whether we were newlyweds (not ideal during the last evening argument). It's none of your business, and telling you won't make me want to buy your goods or services! I lost patience in the end and rudely stopped interacting at all.

So, now I've experienced a 'normal' luxury holiday. It was a fantastic break and I loved most of it. I would definitely like to go back to Mexico, but I will also definitely avoid all-inclusive holidays. A week was not enough.

Beeeaaaautiful beach, perfect sea

Hutong Rant Review

It’s difficult to get a table at The Shard’s Hutong restaurant, but I managed to get one for my partner’s birthday at 10:30pm (the only time available that evening), by booking three weeks in advance.

Jay Rayner had said that the food was good, but that the high price was really for the view and the ambience. I was OK with that because it would feel special for a birthday and ‘good’ was good enough. Sadly, it wasn't good, it was bad.

Due to friends dropping by unexpectedly with birthday bubbles we were running quite late. I tried to call Hutong (number not on their website so found it on Google), but the answer machine was on some kind of faulty loop, so it wasn’t possible to get through. I emailed to explain that we were running 20 minutes late, would that be OK and if so to please hold the table for us.

I got there 25 minutes late and rushed in while my partner found somewhere to park. They didn’t know anything about my email but I was relieved when it didn’t seem to be a problem and they took me to a window table.

On the way to the table I was told the kitchen would be closing in four minutes and I would have to order for my guest. As soon as I sat down I was given a menu and the waitress stood next to me while I chose our dishes. I was reminded about the strict four minute deadline.

Seconds after giving the order, Birthday Boy arrived and wanted to change a dish but was told it was too late. “You’re very late, aren’t you?” a waitress commented.

The view is still there

Nevermind, we ordered champagne and shortly after it was poured, our first starter of 'Sichuan peppered cuttlefish with ma la chilli sauce’ arrived, and it was very good; well-spiced, tasty and tender. I thought it was a bit strange that our other starter didn’t arrive at the same time for this style of dining. Also, our second starter was ‘Thinly-cut pork belly with cucumber slices marinated in a chilli and garlic sauce’, but the cuttlefish arrived on a bed of cucumber, so it could have been cucumber overload.

But the pork never materialised. After ages of waiting, a waiter came with the dessert menu, asking us to order before he closed his dessert operation for the night. We asked him to check on the progress of the cold pork starter. Another long wait. Then our main arrived, followed by the dessert waiter. He explained that the pork had run out. We explained why it was annoying that no-one had told us and we hadn’t been asked whether we'd like to select something else. He didn’t get it, and rudely argued with us but our angry response to him blaming us for being late sent him scuttling to the manager.

Mains: The salt and pepper soft-shelled crab was horribly greasy and under-seasoned. I couldn’t taste any spices. The coating was completely soggy and oozed oil as I chewed. I’ve had better at my local Chinese. The pile of plain crabs were presented in the middle of a preposterous ring of decorative dried red peppers.

The marinated, braised and ‘crispy’ deep fried de-boned lamb ribs were tasty and well-seasoned but chewy and again very greasy. And not crispy. The egg-fried rice was nice.

The dessert waiter returned to mumble apologies and say we could have free desserts to make up for the mistake with our starter.

I gave Birthday Boy my dessert. The lychee ice-cream was nice. Nothing special but not actively bad. The mango rolls were actively bad; dry and tasteless with tiny mean cubes of mango inside the rubbery rolls that looked like they’d been drying out on a windowsill for a few hours.

All the waiting staff had disappeared. We waited and waited but no-one was around. I (half-) jokingly suggested doing a runner, as it seemed we had been abandoned and the evening had been so shoddy and infuriating that I wasn’t keen on paying for it. When I started wandering around to get attention someone eventually turned up and allowed us to pay. He asked how the dessert was. We told him. He smiled and nodded and didn’t care or register our diplomatic criticism of the mango rolls.

We could have enjoyed the view and continued our evening at the bar downstairs but by that time just wanted to get out of the building. Such a shame. A ruined birthday treat.

If I’m late for a booking (even having done everything I could to warn the venue), I do understand if I have to order quickly, but other than that the service and food should be the same as at any other time. It’s the same price. If you don’t have time to give customers the experience they’re paying for don’t let them in. If I’d known that I would be treated like a naughty child, had my order messed up, endured poor and unaccommodating service and received unacceptable food for a sky-high price, I would have gone elsewhere. I know it was late in the evening to find somewhere else, but a kebab would have been preferable.

UPDATE: When I tweeted my review to Hutong they responded to apologise and asked if I had contacted them before posting the review. I said that I had filled in a survey from the booking company with my contact details but no-one had been in touch, which made me feel they didn't care and resulted in the blog post. They investigated and found that the booking company had not been passing on all feedback (negative feedback). Huntong said they had used my experience to improve training and bollock the booking company, and offered me a bottle of Champagne at the venue. I appreciated the offer, very pleasant communications, explanations and investigation, but would feel uncomfortable drinking Champagne somewhere I'd complained about.

Rabbit Stew in London

Having grown up in the countryside and then lived in France I hadn't realised the rabbit is currently part of Britain's food history. It's apparently a very unusual meat for most Londoners nowadays.

But my local butcher stocks it and a restaurant client inspired me with one of their current chef's specials: Rabbit cooked with white wine and rosemary.

I was pleased to find that rabbits come with giblets. I butchered my bunny hind half and browned the pieces in a frying pan. Then I deglazed the pan with white wine. I put the rabbit and wine in an oven dish with onion, lots of garlic, rosemary, lemon zest, a little lemon juice, some left over flageolet beans, lots of extra virgin olive oil, some potatoes, salt and pepper. It all went in a hot oven for a couple of hours. It was delicious.

Back end of bunny

Ready split, with giblets

Squeamish moment? Fur still clinging. But it is a rabbit, so
what do you expect?

Straight from the oven

A simple country dinner, in London town

Provenance

My local butcher markets itself as free-range and organic, but they're not very good at being open about their stock's provenance. I suspect they're not very good at being honest either. They enjoy queues down the street on a Saturday, as their well to-do Dulwich customers shun the supermarket in support of their local posh shops - and so they should. The range and quality of the meat is outstanding - far, far better than Sainsbury's. But they should respect their many trusting customers enough to be truthful.

When asked, it turns out that not all the chickens are free-range. The 'dry cured' bacon does not look or behave as if it is dry cured. I wanted to email them with this particular feedback, but they don't have an email address. I feel I can't actually talk to them about it, either, because their shop is always full of customers. I now get Sainsbury's 'outdoor bred' (Bred = not good enough. I want totally outdoor raised and bred free-range pleeeeaaaaase!) dry cured bacon, and all other meat from the butcher. The butcher's ham is exceptionally good and reasonably priced. I really, really hope that's free-range, but it's next on the list to check...

The other day, I asked their largest and most sarcastic staff member (not by choice - he was serving me at the time) whether their rabbits are wild or farmed. He said farmed. I asked how they are farmed - in cages? He said, "no in a field with a fence round it". That's not feasible. And he sounded as if he was making it up as he went along. I've previously had a problem with the same guy when trying to find out more about the very expensive turkey I was buying, and he seemed to regard me as an idiotic cow and failed to answer my questions.

I called the shop this morning and asked more questions about the rabbit farm or supplier, and was told that at this time of year they are farmed, and yes in cages, thus confirming that the big guy was talking huevos de toro. The most I could get on the supplier was that they are in Yorkshire. I rang one supplier there who told me that all their rabbits are wild whatever time of year it is, so it must have been the wrong supplier or else the butchers are under-selling their rabbit. I gave up after that sliver of investigative journalism, but my conclusion is that you can still get wild rabbit easily, but that I don't trust William Rose butchers in East Dulwich to supply it.

History & Stuff

Until the '50s, rabbit had been a staple of the British diet since forever. Then myxomatosis was deliberately introduced to control the wild rabbit population, and it disappeared from the menu. A delicious, nutritious, free, plentiful, wild food wiped out. I can't understand why more hasn't been done to eradicate the cruel disease.

In the middle ages, enormous managed warrens filled with hundreds of rabbits were run in Norfolk, to meet the demand for rabbit meat - wild ones weren't enough, and I guess...something to do with poaching laws.

Once a year, my parents in Sussex are visited by Mr Warren (YES) and his ferrets. The ferrets hunt and kill any rabbits in the garden (sounds horrific but it all happens in an instant, so very quick horror), then my dad pays Mr Warren for the cull and keeps a rabbit or two to eat.

Wild Asparagus + Asparagus

This is a special double whammy 'sparagus recipe by Perry Lancaster, for the few remaining days of the wild asparagus season. The wild stuff is actually somewhat bitter, but that goes perfectly with the sweetness of the cultivated version.

Firstly, forage for some wild asparagus from a hedgerow - see the photo of an almost-over specimen growing below. I had been looking for something similar to the feathery fronds you see on regular asparagus plants if they are allowed to grow beyond spears, but wild asparagus is completely different and more like a creeper. I'm keeping an eye out in leafy South-East London, but haven't found any yet - lots of things that look almost like it could be it, but so far not actually it.

Wild asparagus growing in a hedgerow, France.

Here's the delectable recipe:

• Melt some butter with olive oil, garlic, lemon zest, salt and a squeeze of lemon juice. Don't allow it to fry; just keep it warm. 
• Steam or simmer the normal asparagus until almost done, then add the wild asparagus and cook for a further 2 - 3 minutes. 
• Drain and assemble the asparagus on a warm plate, and douse with the sauce.
• Add a little more olive oil and lemon zest, and serve immediately.

Double asparagus dish: Asparagus with wild asparagus

Organic Gluten Free Belgian Beer

I've just been sent some samples of an organic Belgian beer range, by Van Bulck. They've recently started importing to the UK, having signed up their first few trade customers.

The exciting thing for me is that the range includes a gluten free lager, pictured below. A few years ago, my brother was on a mission to make gluten free beer for my other brother who shouldn't consume gluten. Attempts were made with various GF cereals and seeds, with varying degrees of success. We discussed whether it had the potential to be produced on an industrial scale, but as usual with our numerous business ideas, that's as far as it got.

Since then, a close friend and lager lover has become acutely gluten intolerant, and increasingly fed up by the lack of beer in her life.

I'm very pleased to say that Van Bulck's 5.2% GF lager is delicious. I'm tasting it now. Light straw in colour. Actually smells a bit straw-like and fruity too. It's hoppy and well-balanced, with a long, moreish, malty finish.

Well done Van Bulck! I'm looking forward to seeing your beer in pubs across the UK, and hope it will soon be stocked in shops too, so I can get some in for when my gluten intolerant friend comes to stay. I know this isn't the first GF lager here, but I think it's likely to become widely available and popular. Is it the first organic GF beer in the UK?

Interestingly, it is gluten free due to a 'special brewing process', rather than the use of GF base materials (it is made with barley), so all my brother's brewing efforts with things like quinoa are slightly irrelevant. Although they did taste good, so maybe that could be a possible new branch of GF beer production?

I'm looking forward to trying Van Bulck's white and wild fruit beers over the weekend. They're not GF but I do particularly love white and fruit beer when it's sunny.

La Plagne Family Holiday

In March, I went on a skiing/ snowboarding holiday with my family. I often go with my brothers and various family friends, but this time my parents came for the first time in years, and my sister-in-law and nephew came for the first time ever.

We went to La Plagne 1800, and stayed in a very nice catered chalet. [Gossip: Boris Johnson had stayed in the same chalet two weeks earlier.] The ski lifts and slopes were a short walk away and the snow was in good condition. The food at the chalet was OK - not unpleasant but far from very good. Other chalet guests really enjoyed it so maybe we're too fussy (discerning). The box wine was also OK.

The trip was my nephew's first experience of snow, which of course he loved. One major problem, though, was that he fell ill with a 24 hour stomach upset, undoubtedly picked up from the crèche. The bug then swept through the entire chalet over the course of the week, and almost everyone fell ill and had to have a day in bed. That includes people that were not in our family group, so we felt quite guilty that little Laith had infected everyone on their holiday. What can you do?

View from our chalet at sunset

Most of the patients fell ill on the chalet hosts' night off, i.e. the evening we had been anticipating with the most excitement, as we could go to a restaurant and eat vast quantities of fondue, raclette and the trimmings. So, 1/3 of our family stayed home in bed and 2/3 went to Le Refuge in Plagne Centre. 1/2 of those who went to the restaurant (me and my mum) couldn't eat much. My mum had a couple of mouthfuls of vegetable soup and I didn't order anything as I felt like I might throw up at any second, but nicked some of my dad's and brother's fondue and salad. Others in the chalet fell ill directly after they had enjoyed whole fondues and raclettes, and said they have been put off the dishes for life. Heavy cheese + sick bug = worst combination.

Le Refuge restaurant is highly recommended in online reviews. My brothers had been there last year and enjoyed it. The décor and ambience are 'luxe Alpine' and the food is good; better than the standard mountain tourist fare. We felt a bit smug not going to the restaurant recommended by the chalet hosts, who may have received backhanders for bookings, as Le Refuge was clearly much better in every way.

The Green Team - my bros at the summit

Apart from the bug ruining the gastronomic highlight of the trip, we all had a great holiday, the skiing was fantastic, and it was really special all being together. One or other of us is usually abroad, and my brother, his wife and their baby live in Tunisia.

And after a decade of boarding (badly), I have gone back to skiing. It's a big relief, as I was so anxious if conditions weren't right for boarding that I couldn't turn or do anything and it ruined things for everyone. I couldn't board if the snow was icy or hard or flat or narrow, like in a chemin, or if I was tired. Now I'm only going to board after powder dumps, and am free to roam the mountains on skies for the rest of the time.

A Week Back in France

At the end of Feb, I took my first trip back to France in a whole year. I've never had a gap like that since I moved there in 2002. Anyway, I had a very lovely time, mainly made up of boozy lunches and dinners with old friends.

One lunch party went on all day and all evening, starting with a Vietnamese feast. Julie and Peter Harris had just been on holiday to Vietnam, and as Julie is a chef they had taken cooking classes on the beach. About 20 of us were invited to taste Julie's new Vietnamese repertoire. We had pho to start, which was completely authentic and delicious, and you couldn't tell that some ingredients like Thai basil had been missed out due to not existing in rural France. Normal basil with mint and coriander did the trick. After that we had two different curries with sticky rice. We had such a good time that I somehow didn't get home from lunch until about 1am.

Julie's pho

Me with the Harris' sweet dog, Caramel

Other meals included pizzas cooked in a wood fired oven, a birthday party of raclette with caiparinhas, and lunch at the La Mule Blanche local restaurant. I cooked a couple of times, including roasting a big free-range chicken from a farmer lady at the market - incomparable to supermarket chickens or any that I've had in the UK. The flavour was wonderful, and it came with giblets (including its still-attached head), so I could make really tasty gravy.

Flowers from a friend, in my kitchen

Wine & Spirits Course

I’ve just had one of my favourite drink adventures so far, and I didn’t even make or swallow any booze. Apart from taking tiny sips here and there, which is unavoidable when tasting very old or expensive or magical wines.

I took the intermediate (level 2) Wine & Spirits Education Trust course, which included lots of home study and preparation, followed by three days of intense learning and tasting – we tried 44 wines. Previously, I considered myself reasonably knowledgeable on wine. Now I know how ignorant I was. It’s embarrassing! No wonder I was lost when choosing Bordeaux! And how can I not have ensured I fully understood the whole process of champagne production, and what makes one champagne differ from another?! And fortified wines? I was clueless!

The problem is, although I am a lot less ignorant than I was before the course, I am now also aware of the remaining gaps in my knowledge. I’ve only gently prodded at the musty surface of a giant vat of wine education. So now I’ve got to save up for the advanced course. 

Rather more encouraging was finding that I do seem to know something about spirits.

UPDATE: I passed Level 2 with Distinction! Whoop whoop!

Scotch Beef Feast, London

I had the huge privilege of being a guest at the Scotch Beef Feast, held at Plateau Restaurant in Canary Wharf.

The Scotch Beef label is a run by the Scottish Government, so it is a publicly funded promotional body, and enjoys Protected Geographical Indication (PGI) status. They really do things properly, and are a cheering example of public sector success.

I can honestly say I was bowled over by the quality of the meat and the preparation of the dishes, by Head Chef Allan Picket.

We were treated to champagne before the meal and a wonderful selection of reds from sommelier, Piedad Tenorio, matched to the dishes. I enjoyed the champs and wine rather excessively, but that did not stop the food from shining for me.

Left to right: My friend Rupert Parker, me and 

the lovely Anna Krzebietka from 

Carat Media - pre-feast drinks.

During the meal, charismatic Scotch Beef representatives, Laurent Vernet (yes, a Frenchman) and Suzie Carlaw explained what PGI means for their product. Among many other things, each animal effectively has a passport that shows every detail of any medication they’ve received, which farms they’ve been reared on, et cetera.

I thought maybe they could introduce the French butcher shop custom of displaying a photo and information on the counter, relating to the individual animals within. But on reflection maybe some Brits would be a bit squeamish about that; maybe Brits aren’t ready for that much reality yet, after so many decades of distance?

Here is the outstanding Scotch Beef Feast menu, with comments:

Amuse bouche - Tartare of Scotch Beef PGI, quails egg yolk, onion bread croûtes

Really good (hard to go wrong with this, if using good beef), but rather enormous for an amuse bouche.

Starter - Scotch Beef PGI tea, tortellini of ox tail

This dish really stood out, not just during this meal but in my bank of general food memories. It was the tastiest tortellini ever. The ox tail was like beef rillettes – mellow, melting and delicious. The beef tea gave a refined umami hit.

Middle course - Salt & sugar cured Scotch Beef PGI, wild roquette, 24 month old parmesan, aged balsamic

Lovely; delicate and moreish. Again, this isn’t difficult to achieve with such amazing meat and raw or lightly cured is the perfect way to showcase its qualities.

Main course - Roast fillet of Scotch Beef PGI, boulangère of cheek, caramelised shallot purée, Burgundy sauce

Wow. Very generous portions of the most tender fillet imaginable, with delicious accompaniments. I was very full by this point but soldiered on as the beef was out of this world.

Pre-dessert - Citrus sorbet, poured champagne
Dessert - White chocolate mousse, raspberries and sorbet

No comment on desserts – I was too full and wined-out, which is very naughty, I know. But this feast was one of the most memorable upscale meals I’ve had in a long time. It also achieved its objective with me, as I will definitely be looking out for and buying PGI Scotch Beef, as well as signing its praises to anyone who will listen.

Scotch Beef PGI tea, tortellini of ox tail

Photos courtesy of Carat Media

‘Dinner Time’ in South London – Indian & Nepalese Restaurant Review

Rating: Impossible to rate, as some of the negatives are reasons to love it.

Cost: Around £25 per person, including 2 glasses of horrible table wine. 

Go there if: You’re open-minded and enjoy backpacking in backwaters.

Conclusion: Clueless and bizarre service but really good food. An experience.

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Yes, Dinner Time is actually the name of this odd little Indian and Nepalese restaurant near New Cross Gate. It is a freshly chosen name as the business has just been bought, re-decorated and reopened by the previous owner’s friend.

Most customers’ orders are placed over the phone and delivered, so not many people experience the quirks of eating in.

Points of interest include the décor…

…the friendly and polite but excruciatingly bad service; the extremely talkative Chef/Owner, Phool Prasad Sharma; the strange drinks menu and the really very good food. Eating there made me feel like I was in a local restaurant in a remote backwater or desolate border town somewhere far-flung. I felt I should have had my backpack and a guidebook with me.

The two choices of wine on the list were not familiar to me but the waiter didn’t understand when I wanted to know more or to see the bottles. In the end I just asked for “white wine”. After about 15 minutes of doing nothing in particular, the waiter decided it was time to nip to the off-licence next door to buy my wine - which was not either of those listed on the menu. It was a very generic and cheap Aussie wine and certainly not worth the £7 a glass I paid for it - especially as it was room temperature. The waiter and I failed to find a clean glass on my table (set for four), so he got one from the bar.

Finally, Mr Sharma turned up to cook my dinner, and, after chatting to me for about 20 minutes, he took my order. Then leisurely began to prepare it. For my starter I chose Nepalese lamb dumplings (like dim sum but far tastier) with homemade lime chutney, and they were delicious.

Sharma insisted he would wait until I had finished my starter before beginning to cook my main course. After my starter, and while I was waiting (ages) for him to start work on my main, a telephone order was taken. According to the menu, the “approximate maximum wait time [for delivery is] 45 minutes, please bear with us in busy periods”. Upon concluding the call, the waiter told the customer that the order would take 45 minutes. I was literally the only other customer. It was not busy. Maybe they want to appear busier than they are, but I think they just like to take their time at Dinner Time.

Lots of chopping and sizzling noises ensued from the open kitchen. A long while later I was presented with an excellent hot and aromatic chicken curry (murgh ‘lasuni’), packed with fresh herbs and spices, and a tasty dish of spice-fried okra.

Sadly, the accompanying roti was thick, solid, stiff and raw in the middle – their tandoor can’t have been hot enough, which of course completely defeats the object.

After thoroughly enjoying my meal, and in the absence of any staff, I went up to the kitchen to ask for the bill. There was lovely-looking fresh produce everywhere; bunches of herbs, bags of vegetables et cetera.

While I was waiting for my bill, a couple arrived to eat in. They were visibly very cold and immediately requested cups of tea. 10 minutes later, as I left, the waiter finally asked them if they’d like some papadums. They hadn’t got their tea yet.

I left with my doggy bag, which included some complimentary papadums (particularly nutty and good) with homemade spicy chopped onion salad and chutneys.

If you have time, patience and are in a good mood – and want to be amused – you must try this place. It is an experience. The food is generally fab and I’m sure they won’t mind if you take your own wine.

Celaric, Leek & Jerusalem Artichoke Soup

I made this very simple soup today and it worked really well. Lovely pale pistachio colour, surprisingly tasty, and a delectable light, creamy texture. I was planning to sprinkle it with a load of finely grated parmesan but the soup was so tasty that the cheese wasn’t necessary.

Ingredients:

Serves 2

• An apple-sized piece of celeriac, cut into 1cm cubes
• A large piece of artichoke (not as much as the celeriac), cut into 1 cm cubes
• 1 leek, chopped
• 1 onion, finely chopped
• 2 or 3 cloves of garlic, chopped
• A little rich vegetable stock
• Optional bay leaf
• Juice of ¼ of a lemon
• A good glug of double cream
• Salt

What to do:

• Put all the vegetables apart from half the leek into a saucepan with some olive oil and fry over a medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the onions are translucent.
• Pour in the stock to cover the veg by about 1cm, and add the bay leaf if using
• Simmer until the celeriac and artichoke are soft
• Add the remainder of the leek and the lemon juice, and cook for another few minutes, until the leek is tender.
• Remove the bay leaf and the soup into a blender with the cream, and whizz up until velvety smooth.
• Add salt to taste and hot water if the soup is too thick

Serve just as it is or with extra virgin olive oil and some freshly-ground black pepper.

La Choza Review - Mexican Street Food, Brighton

Rating: 6/10

Cost: Burrito and beer for £9.50

Go there if: You're young, trendy, hungry and want some tasty, filling, inexpensive nosh.

Conclusion: Not bad but disappointing; restaurant reliant on image and decor more than food.

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La Choza is proving to be an extremely popular new restaurant in Brighton. It's unlikely you'll get a table as this small venue is permanently packed. Instead they have a system of taking your mobile number and calling you when a table becomes available, and they're keen to stress that they won't be offended if you find somewhere else to eat in the meantime.

I missed out the first time I tried to try La Choza as my friend and I were too hungry to wait and we went to The Chili Pickle for lunch instead (for the £13 thali) followed by 2 for 1 caipirinhas at chain restaurant Las Iguanas (it was Christmas Eve). On my second visit to La Choza for lunch a few days later there still wasn't room for me and I still couldn't wait to eat, but this time I got take-away. I was dying to try the food and wouldn't be back in Brighton for a while.

The menu is quite limited - no bad thing - and all the main courses are based on the simple system of selecting a base (burrito, burrito bowl, quesadillas, tostadas), a filling (slow cooked beef, marinated and shredded free range chicken, homemade Mexican chorizo, pit-smoked pulled pork by Bar-B-Q Shack, deep-fried battered fish, roasted spicy squash and sweet potato with feta, prawns fried with garlic, chili and lime) and a salsa (mild pico de gallo, mild green, medium cooked chipotle, hot habanero).

I chose a burrito with the pulled pork and hot salsa (£6). As well as your chosen filling, the burritos come stuffed with green rice, cheese, sour cream and refried beans.

The helpful and cheerful waiter recommended the Modelo Especial Mexican beer (£3.50), which I enjoyed while waiting for my lunch. I had to stand in the cramped space between the door and the little bar, and watch seated diners enjoying their meals while being jostled by constant new arrivals trying to get a table.

The decor is very bright and funky, featuring lots of sugar skulls (Mexican painted skulls) and Mexican-style fabrics. The clientelle seemed to be predominantly young and female. I think everyone there apart from me was under 30.

Image from La Choza's website

My burrito arrived and I took it outside to eat standing up next to a table that I put my beer on. The soft burrito was large and generously filled but mainly with rice. The rice was nice and the burrito was tasty, but it was lacking - lacking in care for the way it was filled (sections of individual ingredients clumped together so it was impossible to get a mouthful of everything, and I had to work my way through grated cold cheese followed by sour cream and just tonnes of rice), lacking in pork, lacking in salsa, lacking in punchy Mexican flavour. Some of the quite hard chunks of 'pulled' pork were too big for one mouthful but were difficult to bite in two.

Much is made of the slow-cooked element of La Choza's fare, but I struggled to taste the sparse pork. I could tell that effort had been made with the rice but the sheer quantity of it took over everything else. The refried beans clearly hadn't been made to an authentic recipe. They seemed to just be a bean purée. Why take such care with the meat and rice but not bother with the beans? Especially as the menu is so limited; every item should be the best it can be. That is what I assumed I would experience after reading about the restaurant's pride in the meats it serves and seeing the small menu. I was disappointed.

I'm sorry to say that I think the popularity of La Choza is down to its trendy image and the aesthetic appeal of its interior and not to its food. Hence the youthful customer base. Yes, I only tried one dish but I think you can judge a Mexican by its burritos. It would still be nice to eat in there with the bright colours and filling, tasty food, but it could be really fantastic and it just isn't. The crampedness would even add positively to the street food feel if the food was as good as it could be. But as it is, I would rather have fajitas in Las Iguanas, with plenty of juicy meat, salsa, guacamole and enough space to dine comfortably.

Little Taste of Ibiza

A quick couple of days in Ibiza made for a seriously therapeutic treat. We did manage one rather short evening of partying but the main focus was food and a bit of sun-cramming before enduring a long British winter - and having endured a long British summer.

The highlight was a spa day at the five star Hotel Hacienda. For €70 we got to experience the incredible view, stunning surroundings and luxury of the venue, along with a full body massage delivered through various kinds of water jets in a series of pools, AND a three course lunch.

The place is normally pretty crowded by its supermodel and DJ clientele, but by the beginning of October there was hardly anyone else there, which made it feel even more exclusive.

We felt very pleased with ourselves, admiring the view in the hot sun (imagining the cold in England) and sipping cava while we waited for our spa slot.

Next, we were admiring the view again, but this time from bubbling pools of salt water, teetering on the edge of the cliff.

After that we enjoyed the view from our restaurant table, right at the highest point of the hotel and indeed the mountain. The starter was a tapas plate of broad bean and mint salad, tempura prawns and sweet chili sauce (yawn), ricotta toasts, rabbit samosas and chilled asparagus cream. All very nicely done.

The main course was grilled salmon steak, octopus stew, steak and a lamb chop, all served on solid slabs of salt – ideal for a sodium chloride addict such as myself. The meat was seared to crispiness on the outside, pink within. They were accompanied by a buckwheat tabouleh.

Steak and lamb chop was served on a block of salt

I thought I didn’t have room for dessert or care much about it, but the beautifully presented platter of mini-puds was particularly good, and rather less of them than promised were donated to a friend. I forgot to photograph them in my haste to taste. They included a little ice-cream cone filled with chocolate, a rich vanilla ice-cream and a lemon tartlet.

We didn’t want our special day to end just yet, so after lunch we slurped on the best mojitos ever in the world ever while watching the sunset. The designated driver had the best ever virgin mojitos in the world ever, which were literally – and I mean literally – as good as the boozy ones.

We went home for a nap followed by cava and a giant paella at the unassuming Villa Manchega. Such a waste – it was a really good one but the three-person pan-full was enough to feed 12. We didn’t have a fridge at the hotel so we had to leave the copious leftovers at the restaurant.

Other memorable meals included our first meal of the holiday when we had seafood and the saltiest, most garlicky garlic purée/mayo imaginable (that is a good thing, by the way) at the Restaurante El Carmen; a seafood selection with chips and rosé from the Cala Gracio beach café (owned and run for 40 years by a charming native Ibizan guy who’s married to a lady from Burnley and called us 'lasses'); and posh nosh at Villa Mercedes.

Squid and grilled red mullet at Resaurante El Carmen (above); 

Last meal of grilled sardines (below).

Croatian Food Odyssey

I used to want to marry Giles Coren, but a few incidents recently (nothing to do with editorial hissy fits – I liked them) are making me wonder if he’s not just a bit of a knob. Don’t worry; I would never normally be as unprofessional as to slag people off, but he’s much ruder about most people all the time and his mushrooming ego wouldn’t allow him to take offence anyway.

The main thing that stopped me wanting to marry Giles quite so much was his disdain for Croatian food. IT IS WONDERFUL. He must not have eaten in the right places. That said, I didn’t eat in a single place that wasn’t incredibly good and I wasn’t even trying very hard so I don’t know how he would have managed that.

It’s a fusion of Mediterranean and Eastern European cuisine that revolves around a bountiful and diverse array of fantastic local ingredients – abundant seafood, salt marsh lamb from Pag Island, suckling pig, wild boar, truffles, hot peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms, garlic, potatoes, olive oil, wine and so on. Influences from the west are pizza, risotto and seriously dreamy ice-creams, and from the east comes peka; super-slow-cooked potatoes in olive oil, garlic and herbs, with octopus or meat. And shredded cabbage.

Seriously, Giles, I want to go back just to explore more of the food (although the scenery is dramatically beautiful and varied too).  Try spit-roast suckling pig at a casual roadside eatery! Or barbecued wild sea bass with homemade chips and luscious salad by the sea. Spit-roast lamb at Tamaris in Zadar (on an industrial estate/retail park by a main road, but don’t be put off) is outstanding and comes with THE most delicious peka potatoes. I am not even a potato person but I can’t imagine eating anything more enjoyable than these soft, salty, oily, addictively ambrosial spuds.

Spit-roast lamb and peka potatoes at Tamaris

Spit-roasting suckling pig, by the roasdside

Delicious plate of suckling pig, tasty potatoes and warm pickled cabbage, 

after a starter of exceptionally good octopus salad.

The people were delightful too! Impeccable English everywhere, an eagerness to help Croatian exploration, and not a tiny whisp of the old tourist-foreigner resentment you sometimes sense when abroad was detected from anyone during the 10-day break.

We were given homemade cherry jam by our hosts; offered homemade grappa by other hosts. And the cherry jam hosts came to find us late at night when our sat nav failed to nav, drove us to their favourite restaurant the next night (at 11pm) and carried on being just as kind and friendly when they discovered we were renting their apartment in order to attend a big rave in their neighbourhood (Dimensions Festival).

A recent Croatian National Tourist Board's press release claimed that Croatia is ‘The ultimate foodie destination’. Interesting angle, because even apart from Coren’s erroneous views their cuisine has barely been covered by any foreign press and often – utterly inexplicably – it is criticised. But unlike lots of tourist board manifestos, the Croatians are making an entirely accurate claim (well, maybe ‘an’ ultimate foodie destination, anyway) and I bet pretty soon it will be ‘discovered’ as the biggest new thing in foodie travel.

Driving back to Trieste Airport through Croatia and Slovenia - 
breathtaking scenery (and wild wolves).

We stayed in one of lovely Marina and Ivan's apartments near Pula and the great top floor apartment with large sea view balcony belonging to Anita and Neven in Zadar.

Gnocci in Gorgonzola Sauce

I tasted these at a press event in March. We were at Food4Media's MediaPlace: All About Italy and Olive Magazine's 100th issue party, at Assaggetti in London. Lots of standard nibbles had gone around already but towards the end of the event all sorts of freshly cooked hot nibbles started coming thick and fast out of the kitchen. They were all delicious, but these little beauties blew me away. The gnocci were quite big and square but were not stodgy or heavy. These soft, neutral pillows of comfort were coated in a tasty blue cheese sauce. They were just stunning. 

Assaggetti's PR people kindly got hold of the recipe for me. I made the gnocci in the traditional shape in these photos, just because I like making them, but the recipe's easier cube option actually worked better.

It was only when making this dish that I realised quite how calorific and fat-filled the sauce is. Red wine (I had a nice chianti) is definitely required to dissolve some of the cholesterol. I am no calorie counter or one to choose 'healthy' options, but this is hardcore!

Ingredients to serve four

Gnocchi:

1kg of Potatoes

1 egg

300g plain flour

A pinch of salt to taste

Sauce:

300g Gorgonzola cheese

50g butter

100cl of whipping cream

What to do

Gnocci:

• Wash potatoes and boil whole for 50 minutes, then peel and mash. Allow to cool. 
• Add the flour, egg and a pinch of salt to the mash working the mixture with your hands until it is a firm dough. 
• Cut the dough into long 2-3cm strips, then roll and cut into cubes 
• Cook the gnocchi in boiling salted water for two minutes; They will rise to the surface when cooked. 
• Scoop out and then place in the pan with the cheese sauce and cook for a minute longer.

Sauce:

Put the butter, gorgonzola and cream into a pan and melt over a low heat for two to three minutes.